i am now planning my own wedding, am i?
too fragile, too slippery..
pray for me people that i will be married by end of jan 09..
please ignore my previous entry.. last week was draining and absolutely exhausting..
this is the explanation i owe:
~we had a crisis last weekend, and it got worse since he'd been avoiding all means to solve it, being emotional i am.. i posted that.. sorry, we are back on speaking terms now.. and trying to patch things up.. he admitted his mistakes and i admitted mine.. like the oldies say.."darah manis ni memang banyak dugaan"~
the company i work for, Ramunia Fabricators Sdn Bhd, is currently having financial problems which gets worse due to the terminated reverse take-over by MISC.. a shaky ground here, which gets worsen due to bad rumours(are there anything good about rumours?)
for the time being, i chose to stay..
being optimistic haa? it's just that fleeing away at this very moment is not wise either... i love working here, i sincerely do..i did complaints before, but who doesn't? i wish so hard that we will be right back on track and leave the red zone for good (which i think might take years to achieve)
one thing that gets on my nerves about all this issue is the rumours..oh how i hate rumours.. after the news of the terminated RTO, i have been observing people.. there are people who are excited about the news,but for all the wrong reasons.. they can now have sumthing juicier to gossip about which is an intelligent subject,(besides the normally lame news) spreading false updates, and talking as if they were not affected at all, and the best part is, saying things like "oh, we're so done.. oh Ramunia's going bankruptcy", and "we wont get our salary anymore..." DUH!! it sounds as if you're praying for THAT to happen, like HAAA???
there are people (like me, wink wink!!) who prefers to seek the truth, since i am in the Front End Div, info like this can comes handy and it is the TRUTH...
to fellow Ramunian's at heart, let us hold our hands together and pray...
i posted below some of what Ramunia's business since i know that some of you had never even heard of us..
i think that's about it for now.. will update again from time to time..
as for now, dont forget to watch PUAKA NIYANG RAPIK yang merepek² tonite!!!
i was awake the whole night yesterday, thinking of calling the engagement off..
i want to call the engagement off..
i dont want to spend my entire life with you..
i am still thinking to call the engagement off...
i was having a bad morning yesterday, and as usual i spilled it out to abang..
during lunch break i tagged him along to the bank sebab sangat tak ada mood nak duk sorang²..
am: ayu, ada nak gi mana2 ke, beli pape ke?
me: takla, ayu nak ikut abang je, nak duk ngan abang je, abang kan pengubat luka lara ayu..
~~~sampai kat bank~~
me: abang nak gi mana, abang kan pengubat luka ayu, jangan la gi.. (getik kan aku..)
am: luka mana boleh letak ubat selalu², tak baik nanti.. biar dia kering dulu..
me: ..speechless.. (looks like he mastered the skill to handle my "ngada-ngada melampau", hahahahaha.....BAGUS!!)
i called a long lost friend to wish him happy birthday last monday.. and we had a good chat, he's getting married feb next year and i wish him well.. we had a lot of conflicts in our teenage years.. and a lot of stupid acts to complete the drama that i sincerely regret.. alhamdulillah.. as we get older, i think maturity makes us both forgave each other's mistakes and continue our friendship.. i really do treasure the friendship we had before the silly mistakes... to edy, selamat menjadi pengantin baru!!
my kelantan trip for adi's engagement with sayang = fun way to exercise..
since sume orang (mak, abah, along, angah, pak jang) balik after the event, tinggal la aku dan am tunggu bas malam pukul 8.... hem.. we discover kelantan by foot...
berjalan la pusing², dari pasar khadijah ke kb mall ke langgar.. naik bas, sapu² minyak kat kaki, tampal koyok..tido..zzzzzzzzzzzz.. seronot!!!
nak tido.. babai...
ahh jantung jantung!!!
i only asked for a minute...
a minute of your time to talk decently with you...
and i really meant just a minute, i know how busy you are.....
but a minute means nothing to you, or maybe the person requesting it...
simple as it is..but it hurts.....
and i only asked for a minute....
and the minute's now gone forever....
Dear Syuhai - here goes the tagging. (ooh azie tu aku, i tot orang len)
Tag 8 people:
Farina (ko kena buat jugak), Adrian, Tote, Min, Fatma, Hanin , Farah Lily, Tun Mahathir (aci tak, ahahah)
Describe yourself in one word:
Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?:
Someone who really loves me
Have you ever loved someone before but never had the courage to tell him/her?:
No, i always do the chase.
How would you deal with a face to face rejection?:
If its serious relationship, i'll cry.. but if its not.. i pretend to be sad, and go have fun!!
God is giving you just 5 more minutes before going back to Heaven. IF you love someone special, what will you say to that person?:
Ayu jaga abang dari atas ye, sayang...
What would you say to a person who doesn't want to believe you?:
Lantak kau laa..
Was ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?:
Yes, and it fails..miserably
What's your opinion about someone who's jealous?:
Obsessive jealousy - GET A LIFE..
Healthy jealousy - YOU'RE OK..
Do you have something special with you all the time?:
Best place to cry?:
On his shoulder..
Who do you love the most?:
They know who they are...
Tell us of your dream last night?:
On a weird vacation with adrian...
Ever hated someone so bad?:
YEAH! But not anymore... i forgave your stupidity..
The biggest and most hurtful lie you've heard?:
I LOVE YOU... BUT...
The last person you had a beer with?:
Can i change beer to teh 'o' ais limau? - SAYANGKU HAMDAN
The last person you went to the movies with?:
SAYANGKU HAMDAN & Deny
The last person you talked on the cell phone with?:
SAYANGKU HAMDAN (dont puke, bear with me..ahahah)
The last person you hugged?:
person Cat : Okah & Okid
The last person you yelled at?:
person Cat : Okah & Okid (im not a spinster with lots of cats, k!)
In the last week, have you kissed someone?:
Adrian. (freaky lesbo.. btw, its on the cheek)
Eaaaaa... back in school years..
Think of the last time you were angry, why were you angry?:
Abang tak nak beli sate, dan lupa beli buah.. (we fought over the smalles things possible, :p)
If you could do anything, or wish anything, what would it be?:
I wanted a second chance.. to be more respectful towards myself...
If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?:
Around the world??
Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?:
In the most subtle but cruel way..
Are you old fashioned?:
What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?:
NONE. I tell the truth...
What would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?:
Five facts about me:
I : am so full of emotions
: take responsibilites very seriously
: do not tolerate nonsense
: laugh a lot when im happy
: love my friends eventhough they're far away
Five things that scare me:
1. Creepy Crawling or Flying Insects (Top of the list - Cockroach)
2. Chronic diseases
3. Losing loved ones
4. No MONEY
Two songs playing in my head lately:
Menjaga hati - Yuvie & Nuno
Take a bow - Rihanna
Five things I treasure in my life:
LOVE, HEALTH, WEALTH, FRIENDSHIP, PEACE
while google-ing my name yesterday, i found this!!
to along yang order all these saturated fat, THANK YOU!!
i changed the layout today.. i do realize that the previous layout was a little bit unfriendly, and childish..wuahahah.. (forgive the first timer experience).. i did accidentally deleted a few of my older entries (huhuhuhuuu)
i spent almost the whole working hours today getting this done, and the next wud be updating my long forgotten FS and FB..
aku tak keje ke? keje.. tapi kasik laa rilek sket, tender baru submit maa.. lembu pun tau penat... (sape berani cakap kat bos dia gini?)
my lil bro is getting engaged this weekend so off we go to Kelantan Darul Naim.. hoping that it wont rain this Sunday, may the sun shine as bright as my brother's hopes and dreams..
last weekend, i attended the required "kursus pra-perkhawinan", was very exhausted since i just arrived the previous night from kl, demi sijil itu.. ku gagahkan jua..
the input i get = priceless..
ada satu perkara yang ustaz tu sebut which i wanted to share:
since i do have lots of friends who dates married man, please girls... jangan anggap apa awak buat tu tak salah, kalau orang tu jujur dan tulus, he wont hide you from his wife.. kalau sekarang pun awak bleh nampak yang dia dah tak tanggungjwab dengan adil, (do not lie to yourself), what makes you think he'll change for you.. and to my friend who actually married the man tapi sekarang merana kerana hubby nye cari 3rd wife which is undoubtedly younger and prettier, sabarla.. anggap ni pembalasan dunia atas apa ko buat pada wife 1st dia.. (sorry to say this)
im not perfect myself, i nearly got myself in this kind of mess too once, tapi masih ada ruang dan peluang pada semua orang untuk perbetulkan kesalahan sendiri, susah.. memang susah.. tapi kalau awak dah tau depan tu jalan mati.. kenapa teruskan jugak, lagi lambat awak berenti, lagi lama lah perjalanan balik...
to farina: i envy your pics with ZHM, and no matter how i wish, i still cannot turn back time to attend the press release of Impak Maksima the Musical..sob² & lets google other's names and published what we get!! (haha)
to peonate & ayentzl: happy birthday!! a year older a year wiser (may this come true)
as i was chatting to najmin yesterday, i remembered one incident that i had intended to write down in my blog but forgotten...
5. caught red-handed
- to those who knew, they'll know that my bos is stationed in kl and here in ramunia we "can work with minimal supervision" (ayat normal dalam resume)
- they will also know that i usually sleep on my bos's room couch when i feel lazy (which is rare, trust me)
- one fine day, feeling the blues.. i decided to take a nap, tengok line clear.. couch tu pun kosong (bukan aku sorang je eaaa,semua..) aku pun masuk laa...
- nak bukak air-con..cam sejuk je tak jadi laa..
- baru je.. baru sangat aku nak landing.. baru nak menonggeng.. kreok...
- there he was.. my beloved bos..
- azhe: eheheee.. sory sory che den, sya ingat che den kat kl, sory ye (sipu2 malu, aku kuar)
- i did not remember what he said, or his expressions.. (or maybe aku dah tak bleh dengar, telinga aku dah berdesing..dan mata aku dah kabur)
- smpai sekarang, aku tak tido lagi dah atas sofa tu..
6. memories as an announcer..
- aku teringat mende ni tadi, my partner was tote a.k.a lina
- di satu petang, hujan renyai².. duty cam biasa..
- tiba².. tersembul satu kepala dari belakang dinding tepi pintu..
- dengan rambut tajam2 yang kat hujung² dia ada titis² air hujan bergantung...
- titis air hujan tu kaler kelabu² sket sebab mungkin dah mixed ngan minyak rambut..
- muka toye dan selamba, "bleh tolong panggil A**a* tak, form 5.." dan dia hilang...
- the minute he's gone, aku pandang tote, tote pandang aku... dan bersembur la gelak ngilai²
- dan satu masalah dah timbul, sape nak announce, ketawa tak bleh berenti ni..
- kalau tengah announce tergelak nanti kena marah..
- to cut it short.. sakit paru2 aku announce sambil tahan gelak, tapi tak berjaya jgak laa sebab tersembur gak akhir² ayat..
- aku tak tau apa yang lucu sangat, zaman sekolah dulu, semua pun seronok.. aku ingat first time aku tengok g-string ngan tote dan seri kat the mall
- gelak sampai tak cukup nafas, aku ingat lutut aku lembik sampai tak bleh jalan.. and seriouly aku merangkak.. (dulu² bukan ramai pun orang kat the mall)
- akak sales girl tu pun gelak.. mungkin gelak pada reaction kitorang pada mende alah tu yang sekarang dah tak ada makna lagi dah..
aku rindu my girls, jauh mana pun terpisah, lama la macam mana pun.. kalau aku susah diorang sentiasa ada.. masa aku down dulu tahun 2 kat u, weeza, seri, tote, min.. thanks a lot.. dan paling aku hargai, fijo call aku dari uk.. aku nak korang tau aku juga ada untuk korang wherever, whenever.. may Allah bless all of you always... muah muah muah!!!
yes i am very angry with you..
i am very frustrated with you..
after all this years, you never know how to actually soothe me...
i am dissapointed in your way of solving problems that we had..
i feel a tint of regret being in a relationship with you which nowadays seems so dull and stucked
(which i do not even realize when we are ok)
i am tired of trying to ensure that our paths are crossed daily and maintaining an open and healthy communication
i am so exhausted to be everything that you ever wanted while not getting anything back in return
do i hate you?
yes i do
i really do
i hate you.
need to say more?
yes, i really do hate you