DON'T QUIT  

Posted by azheazam

when things go wrong
as they sometimes will,
when the road you're trudging
seems all uphill,
when the funds are low
and the debts are high,
and you want to smile,
but you have to sigh,
when care is pressing you down a bit -
REST IF YOU MUST,
BUT DON'T YOU QUIT.

success is failure
turned inside out,
the silver tint of
the clouds of doubt,
and you can never can tell
how close you are,
it may be near when
it seems a far.

so, stick to the fight
when you're hardest hit -
IT'S WHEN THINGS GO WRONG
THAT YOU MUSTN'T QUIT.

this is written on the cover of my notebook.. it's am's actually, i like it very much, it gave me fresh new spirit every time i feel low.. i'm sharing it, manalah tau it work on others too..

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me a mother..  

Posted by azheazam

as i promised, and lina is taking her afternoon nap.. here goes..


i was due on 1st nov 2009, but i've been so eager to have an early labour, because i am impatient.. haha.. but that didn't happened.. in fact, i was 4 days late.. why? because i chose to sleep..

my water broke on saturday 1st nov,as predicted by the doctors, at around 3am.. but it wasn't much, i thought i might be imagining it, so i went back to sleep.. i didn't tell anyone on this, but i do find that whenever i urinate there's a gush of water coming out, that i cannot control it, i asked my sister on this and she told me that water broke is different from urinating, that's probably just my baby crushing my bladder, ok.. on monday, i called my mother having normal conversation and i casually told her about the water broke incident, she freaked out a bit, saying that i should have gone to the hospital, but since it was already late in the evening, being lazy, i said ok i'll go.. but then, the next day i didn't go yet, i still feel the rushing water during urinating, no pain no nothing.. she's moving actively.. i told my MIL but it was then too late in the evening, hehe.. so kite pegi esok ajela.. rabu pagi, i went to Klinik Kesihatan, they urged me to go the hospital immediately, i started to feel a bit panick, but only went to Regency around 3pm, am baru start keje tempat baru, luckily his bos is very understanding, he let him went home early, and lucky again, Regency is just in front of his new office, so we met him there..

sampai2 Regency, Dr. Thokha scanned and told me that "air mentuban dah sikit ni, uri dah rosak, i should have given birth days before.." then only it struck me that my stupidity could have cost me my baby's life.. stupid azi, tido je ko ea.. buruk perangai.. Alhamdulillah, nothing worst happened, the baby is still perfectly healthy, but i have to give birth today, induce la jawapannya..

lutut aku dah tak ada rasa, hati dah kembang tak kuncup2.. Dr. Thokha pecahkan air mentuban yang berbaki itu, dan pasang drip kat tangan, i cannot even stand anymore, takut macam tak bleh describe, apa la jadi kat aku pas ni.. penyakit nervous aku pun muncul dan haa apa lagi, BP naik tinggi gile tak bleh turun2, sebab jantung aku tgh lumba Iron Man..

aku terus masuk labour room, i started to feel contraction around 5pm, mula2 gua steady beb, lama2 hangit.. am memang ada, tapi tengok muka dia macam nak hentam, belakang dah macam putus dua, tapi aku memang ingat pesan MIL aku, jangan nangis zi.. nanti tak ada tenaga nak teran, ok baby.. ibu caiyok!!

at around 10pm, aku mcm dah tak bape nak bleh handle, nurse selok2 dia kata dah 7cm, kelam kabut pasang segala mende, aku mcam dah relieved sket sebab oke la tak lama sangat nak sakit, heh.. semua itu dusta belaka, Dr. Thokha datang check kata baru 3, BARU 3 OK!!! not even halfway... semua positive energy sudah mula evaporate, dia kata aku akan bersalin dalam around 3am, tak pikir banyak aku resort to amek pain killer, dia kata you still feel the pain, but u can relax.. and he's DAMN RIGHT..

sakit tak ada kata bleh describe, but i fall asleep between contraction, not a deep sleep, mcm khayal gitu, my mother arrived from Kuantan around 11pm dan bermula la episod yang jadi modal am gelakkan aku sampai skrg, gelak la ko, aku humban dalam longkang, tapi dia gelak jugak.. aku panggil mak aku suh ajar breathing every time contraction, every time, dgn nada yang sedih dan sayu (to him its hillarious), mak aku pun gelak.. jadi mungkin aku je yang sayu.. mak aku tak kira suh tarik nafas aku tend to kelam kabut, aku lebih tenang dengar suara mak, kakak ku jeles sebab tak penah mak sempat masuk labour room dia, itu adalah masalah ko... ahaha..

contraction aku selang 3 minutes, dari awal lagi pun memang gitu, so not much rest.. i could not describe how the pain is, but i can still remember how i feel that moment, i remember ternampak sekilas lalu David Letterman kat tv depan katil (apa guna tv tu? haa ko gtau aku) so aku tau baru midnite, lama lagi nak 3am.. air selusuh dah minum, bubur mcd juga dah abes, (ye orang tunggu aku sambil makan mcd), cepat laa baby ibu carik jalan keluar..

true to his word, memang pukul 3 head dah engorged.. mak aku yang nampak, panggil nurse.. dia kata Dr. otw dari rumah, takpe rumah dia dekat je.. waklu otw... ehehehe.. am juga nampak kepala dah nak kuar.. berani am, ada orang takut, seb baik dia berani, lagipun aku dah ugut dia suh tengok no matter what... eh mana Dr. ni, lambat la plak.. aku siap2 dah marah2 mana tak sampai2, nurse suh turun kaki, kepit.. kepit apa lagi, aku dah terberanak sangat ni.. dia kata jangan teran lagi, cakap senang laa.. aku teran jugak sket2..

akhirnya kelibat Dr. muncul juga, dia bleh nak bagi ceramah plak dulu, dia kata jangan risau sakitnya 45min je, 45min?? abes yang dari pukul 5 tadi apa? gurau2? ehehehe.. masa itu je aku emo.. dia tak abes cakap sangat aku terus teran, dan alhamdulillah, 3 kali je lina dah kuar.. leganya hanya Allah yang tahu, dia angkat lina dan cakap, IT'S A GIRL.. and how she cried..

dunia aku macam sunyi sepi bila dia letak anak aku atas dada aku.. macam2 perasaan timbul.. my first word to her is Assalamualaikum anak ibu.. then, Hi.. she's so licin, penuh vermix lagi, terus BF.. dan sampai sekarang juga lina masih BF.. alhamdulillah..

she was born at 4th November 2009, at 3.15am.. weight 3.17kg..

and i was officially a mother, and very proud to be one..

oh ya, my mother, my MIL, and my beloved am witnessed it.. meriah kan, lantak laa tak kira dah masa sakit, sape nak tengok, tengok.. ehehee

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salam  

Posted by azheazam

assalamualaikum to all...


whoaa, its been so long i thought i closed this blog forever.. but then i decided not to.. i love sharing even more now that i have soooo much to tell, im a mother now, and like all mothers.. i will be writing a lot about farah lina, my now already one year old daughter.. life has been pretty much very different now than it was before lina is born.. not only we have her around which are extremely wonderful experiences day by day, i am also now no longer a career lady i was before.. yes, i am now a full time housewife and loving it to the bits.. eventhough i was scared at first...

i was officially unemployed Jan this year, my company's rough days don't seem to end.. so they're letting go of their employees, and both me and my husband were among the "lucky" ones selected for vss, my husband went first and i followed him two months later, but i didn't actually go to work during the last 2 months, because.. i had a baby.. lina has arrived..

i very much wanted to share my labour experience but i have to do it in the next post, being a full time mother, i have to be very efficient on time management too since lina is demanding a lot of together play time, and i hated to frustrate her by saying "no, ibu has work to do", and now is the time she wanted me, to help her stacking up her lego bricks.. i hope that i will be writing again tomorrow, because now that i'd started, i feel like i missed doing this..

i'll tell you what happened the day lina was born tomorrow,till then..

adios,

xoxo

0 comments

peti telebisyen  

Posted by azheazam



helo hula aloha!!!





hari ni aku ingin membantu seorang teman..





dia menjual peti telebisyen LCD baru berjenama Samsung.. bape inch lu mau?





harga saya tidak diberitahu, TAPI... dah sah la BOMBASTIC prices!!





kalau tak aku tak nak tolong dia sebab nanti aku kena kutuk sekali...





price neg dan keoriginalan TV tersebut adalah digerenti oleh persatuan peti telebisyen kg buah pala... ehehe.. sensitif tu.. sebab kg tu dah jadik sejarah... hehee..

im not sure qty dia limited ke tak, tapi kalau nak tanya la saya cepat².. manala tau jap² lagi aku dah nak bersalin ke.. ehehehe (tolong amin ramai² cepat!!)

itu je laa, nak cite apa lagi.. pinggang aku sakit ni.. meh meh beli tv..

adios,
xoxoxoxo

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bila?  

Posted by azheazam

salam everyone...



pergh lama seh tak update, tapi lagi lama yang hari tu... aku tengok orang lain, cukup excited mengupdet pasal their pregnancy's status and experiences.. tapi aku.. ehehhee..



bukan tak excited nyah, aku rasa nak buat cam gugu gaga erra tu haa, keadaan dan masa tak berapa nak mengizinkan.. aku upload aje la gmbar sket2, sebab sket pun yang ada.. satu hari raya ritu pun sekeping gamba pun tak ada aku ngan laki aku... betapa sebok nye laa nyah oiii mak beraya..



alhamdulillah, segala puji, rahmat dan syukur kepada Allah, aku dah masuk minggu ke 37, tak kira la ticker tu nak cakap bape sekali pun, aku tukar ticker hari tu pun sebab yang lama tu macam nak suruh aku mengandung style gajah, bertahun2.. aku tengok makin lama dia makin tambah plak masa aku nak kena tunggu... memang silap besar laa ngkau, aku ni memang tak sabo orangnye...



masuk minggu ke 37, macam2 sakit aku rasa, tapi satu pun tak ada yang lead to labour.. apa cer? ohh baby, ibu ko ni tak sabo... memang aku bukan jenis penyabar.. am je yang ada sifat terpuji ni.. semoga jangkit laa kat anak aku nanti..amin.. tapi deep down inside, aku akan tunggu sampai puteri kesayangan ini.. bersedia untuk keluar dengan sendirinye... (dah memang kena tunggu kan, kasik sedap hati laa sket, konon cam redha) eh aku dah gtau ea apakah jantina nye... insyaAllah.. perempuan la anak sulung bertuah hasil bunting pelamin aku dan am...

nama? gua dah standby beb.. jangan nanti korang tak puas hati sudah... eheheeheh



aku pohon sangat2, semoga di saat aku melahirkan nanti.. biarlah am ada dengan aku.. dalam labour room tu, walaupun aku rasa ada kemungkinan dia akan seribu kali lebih panik dah berpeluh sakan dari aku, tapi aku perlu sangat kehadiran dia dengan aku... aku terasa macam, kalau di sini laa janji aku dengan Allah, biarlah am jadi orang terakhir yang aku tengok... sebab hanya Allah saje yang tau betapa aku sayangkan dia... kalau dia baca ni memang berbakul2 aku kena marah, kuasa Allah tak ada sape yang bleh halangkan.. aku cuma minta doa dari kawan2 semua supaya aku dipermudahkan bersalin dan selamat... korang tak tau do.. aku cuak cam tahap gaban...



first time raya sbagai isteri agak menarik pada aku.. sebab aku ada suami yang baru masuk darjah satu sekolah romantik... tak feel do salam raya... siap aku tersua2 dahi suh dia cium.. last2 kena cakap verbally jugak.. sia2 dahi aku jendul... tapi pengalaman beraya di johor ni memang fresh.. johorian memang beraya selagi ada bulan syawal... aku paling suka tradisi marhaban dari rumah ke rumah kat sini, aku tak tau tempat lain ada ke tak tapi kawasan perumahan aku kat kuantan tu memang tak ada... aku bukan hafal sangat pun marhaban sampai ke abes, aku awal2 ye kuat.. tang nak last2 tu aku meraban laa.. buat2 la tengok semut ke anai2 ke kat lantai.. jangan tengok cicak, nanti orang nampak mulut ko tak gerak.. buat2 miming je..



personally aku harap akan bergelar ibu hujung mingu ni... aku ada laa amalkan sket2 tips untuk mempercepatkan bersalin, tapi sume pun bergantung kepada rezeki... barang2 baby pun insyaAllah rasanya dah ada sume, termasuk la jamu selapan untuk ibu yang baunye mak datuk cam haram jadah... tapi mengenangkan aku ni kawin tak sampai setahun pun lagi, laki aku muda lagi, dah jadik ayah sat gi saham dia makin naik... akan aku telan apa saje untuk balik ke bentuk badan sewaktu anak dara yang tak ada laa kurus sangat pun tapi itu la yang menambat hati dia nak kawin ngan aku dulu kan...

hah, tengah2 aku type ni.. ntah apa sumpahan ntah, aku tertumpah air atas laptop.. cikalat..

ni aku dah tukar ke pc office, dah petang pun, tadi pagi lagi.. laptop tadi jangan tanya, air mencurah cam niagara falls, agaknye camtu lebat jugak ke duit aku nak repair tuh nanti.. fuh fuh fuh tenang... aku memang cemerkap betul dalam tempoh ngandung ni, aku pecahkan pinggan, cawan, dua kali cubaan bakar rumah, jatuh kerusi, jatuh bilik air, tersadung sana sini... tapi Alhamdulillah.. aku dan anakku ini masih di dalam lindunganNya... semoga kekal sehingga selamat nanti...

nak transfer gamba pun cam dah tak ada mood sebab gamba banyak dalam laptop yang dah banjir tadi, oleh itu.. aku pun izin laluan laa, nak makan nasi plak, tadi nak makan selera dah potong... doakan aku ye tuan puan... aku takut ni.. maklumla orang banyak dosa...
sebut pasal dosa, aku pun nak mintak maaf banyak2 pada semua yang kenal aku dan pernah gurau senda dan terasa hati ngan aku.. aku jugak mintak halalkan la segala makan minum, hutang ke kalau ada yang aku lupa dan ko malu nak mintak, eheheeheh... mintak di 0-0 kan la ea... terima kasih pada yang komen pada entry aku yang ada gamba scan tu, aku mintak maaf tak reply pun, buruk perangai memang macam ni... tapi aku hargai setiap komen korang... terharu mak rasa nyah...

i love you all, tapi i love lagi bau nasi goreng ngan ikan asam pedas yang dah semerbak satu ofis ni... salam semua.. muah muah muah

adios,
xoxoxoxo

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hey ho hey ho!!!!  

Posted by azheazam



ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!


muahahahahahaahaha...


thanks for all the warm wishes from dear families and friends...


am paksa kucing² sume wish aku bday.. thanks, i like!!
dan dia juga wish tanpa henti dari subuh² sampai sekarang.. thanks, I SGT LIKE!!!


27.. 27 .. 27...... apa ada pada nombor.. yang penting HAPPY!!!!


so HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY AZIE!!!!!!


p/s: oh, pagi tadi terslip dalam toilet.. tapi jatuh tak kuat sangat.. insyaAllah sume oke.. amin...


adios,

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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alhamdulillah..ketemu lagi kita...  

Posted by azheazam


ALHAMDULILLAH..
bertemu lagi kita pada tahun ini...
Ramadhan kali ini lebih istimewa.. pertama kali berpuasa sebagai seorang isteri..
dan yang lebih penting... sebagai seorang MAK YONG!!!
akan ku cuba berpuasa hingga ke akhirnya, oleh itu cik baby sila beri kerjasama...
eheheheheee
i did asked around for info on pregnancy during ramadhan, and most of the feedback are positive..what's important is will power.. oke cik baby.. will power oke, not austin powers...
selamat berpuasa buat semua yang tersayang, kawan², kenalan dan semua yang berpuasa...
ramadhan datang setiap tahun, bilakan ramadhan yang terakhir buat kite, hanya ALLAH MAHA MENGETAHUINYA... oleh itu, marilah kite sama² berharap dan berusaha (harap saja maknanya parah) agar Ramadhan kali ini penuh bermakna...insyaAllah...
adios,
xoxo..

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