i was due on 1st nov 2009, but i've been so eager to have an early labour, because i am impatient.. haha.. but that didn't happened.. in fact, i was 4 days late.. why? because i chose to sleep..

my water broke on saturday 1st nov,as predicted by the doctors, at around 3am.. but it wasn't much, i thought i might be imagining it, so i went back to sleep.. i didn't tell anyone on this, but i do find that whenever i urinate there's a gush of water coming out, that i cannot control it, i asked my sister on this and she told me that water broke is different from urinating, that's probably just my baby crushing my bladder, ok.. on monday, i called my mother having normal conversation and i casually told her about the water broke incident, she freaked out a bit, saying that i should have gone to the hospital, but since it was already late in the evening, being lazy, i said ok i'll go.. but then, the next day i didn't go yet, i still feel the rushing water during urinating, no pain no nothing.. she's moving actively.. i told my MIL but it was then too late in the evening, hehe.. so kite pegi esok ajela.. rabu pagi, i went to Klinik Kesihatan, they urged me to go the hospital immediately, i started to feel a bit panick, but only went to Regency around 3pm, am baru start keje tempat baru, luckily his bos is very understanding, he let him went home early, and lucky again, Regency is just in front of his new office, so we met him there..

sampai2 Regency, Dr. Thokha scanned and told me that "air mentuban dah sikit ni, uri dah rosak, i should have given birth days before.." then only it struck me that my stupidity could have cost me my baby's life.. stupid azi, tido je ko ea.. buruk perangai.. Alhamdulillah, nothing worst happened, the baby is still perfectly healthy, but i have to give birth today, induce la jawapannya..

lutut aku dah tak ada rasa, hati dah kembang tak kuncup2.. Dr. Thokha pecahkan air mentuban yang berbaki itu, dan pasang drip kat tangan, i cannot even stand anymore, takut macam tak bleh describe, apa la jadi kat aku pas ni.. penyakit nervous aku pun muncul dan haa apa lagi, BP naik tinggi gile tak bleh turun2, sebab jantung aku tgh lumba Iron Man..

aku terus masuk labour room, i started to feel contraction around 5pm, mula2 gua steady beb, lama2 hangit.. am memang ada, tapi tengok muka dia macam nak hentam, belakang dah macam putus dua, tapi aku memang ingat pesan MIL aku, jangan nangis zi.. nanti tak ada tenaga nak teran, ok baby.. ibu caiyok!!

at around 10pm, aku mcm dah tak bape nak bleh handle, nurse selok2 dia kata dah 7cm, kelam kabut pasang segala mende, aku mcam dah relieved sket sebab oke la tak lama sangat nak sakit, heh.. semua itu dusta belaka, Dr. Thokha datang check kata baru 3, BARU 3 OK!!! not even halfway... semua positive energy sudah mula evaporate, dia kata aku akan bersalin dalam around 3am, tak pikir banyak aku resort to amek pain killer, dia kata you still feel the pain, but u can relax.. and he's DAMN RIGHT..

sakit tak ada kata bleh describe, but i fall asleep between contraction, not a deep sleep, mcm khayal gitu, my mother arrived from Kuantan around 11pm dan bermula la episod yang jadi modal am gelakkan aku sampai skrg, gelak la ko, aku humban dalam longkang, tapi dia gelak jugak.. aku panggil mak aku suh ajar breathing every time contraction, every time, dgn nada yang sedih dan sayu (to him its hillarious), mak aku pun gelak.. jadi mungkin aku je yang sayu.. mak aku tak kira suh tarik nafas aku tend to kelam kabut, aku lebih tenang dengar suara mak, kakak ku jeles sebab tak penah mak sempat masuk labour room dia, itu adalah masalah ko... ahaha..

contraction aku selang 3 minutes, dari awal lagi pun memang gitu, so not much rest.. i could not describe how the pain is, but i can still remember how i feel that moment, i remember ternampak sekilas lalu David Letterman kat tv depan katil (apa guna tv tu? haa ko gtau aku) so aku tau baru midnite, lama lagi nak 3am.. air selusuh dah minum, bubur mcd juga dah abes, (ye orang tunggu aku sambil makan mcd), cepat laa baby ibu carik jalan keluar..

true to his word, memang pukul 3 head dah engorged.. mak aku yang nampak, panggil nurse.. dia kata Dr. otw dari rumah, takpe rumah dia dekat je.. waklu otw... ehehehe.. am juga nampak kepala dah nak kuar.. berani am, ada orang takut, seb baik dia berani, lagipun aku dah ugut dia suh tengok no matter what... eh mana Dr. ni, lambat la plak.. aku siap2 dah marah2 mana tak sampai2, nurse suh turun kaki, kepit.. kepit apa lagi, aku dah terberanak sangat ni.. dia kata jangan teran lagi, cakap senang laa.. aku teran jugak sket2..

akhirnya kelibat Dr. muncul juga, dia bleh nak bagi ceramah plak dulu, dia kata jangan risau sakitnya 45min je, 45min?? abes yang dari pukul 5 tadi apa? gurau2? ehehehe.. masa itu je aku emo.. dia tak abes cakap sangat aku terus teran, dan alhamdulillah, 3 kali je lina dah kuar.. leganya hanya Allah yang tahu, dia angkat lina dan cakap, IT'S A GIRL.. and how she cried..

dunia aku macam sunyi sepi bila dia letak anak aku atas dada aku.. macam2 perasaan timbul.. my first word to her is Assalamualaikum anak ibu.. then, Hi.. she's so licin, penuh vermix lagi, terus BF.. dan sampai sekarang juga lina masih BF.. alhamdulillah..

she was born at 4th November 2009, at 3.15am.. weight 3.17kg..

and i was officially a mother, and very proud to be one..

oh ya, my mother, my MIL, and my beloved am witnessed it.. meriah kan, lantak laa tak kira dah masa sakit, sape nak tengok, tengok.. ehehee